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I don’t know

It may be an obsession. It may be a fantasy. I don’t know how it came about. I don’t know if it’ll ever end. I don’t know if it’s unhealthy, mundane, or insane. Am I becoming a slave to it? I don’t know. Is it taking over my life?!?! I don’t know. All that I do know is that I have to snap out of it, to break this terrible devotion to…

 

Watching 30 Rock on my iPod.

Christmas

Christmas is just about my favorite time of year. Actually, the entire season of it, with  every other holiday or way of celebrating there is known to anyone. Christmas is just kind of neutral territory. At least, it is for my family. My sister and I don’t fight as much, and my older cousins only have playful conflicts. We play games of Gin Rummy, Apples to Apples, Monopoly, and Wii. There is a lot of yelling and hugging and food and happiness. Christmas is kind of like taking a vacation off of real life. What I love the most about Christmas is being with my family. We have so much fun, and everything is helped along by our knowing each other so well. Everything seems to get warmer and brighter at Christmas. Suddenly it becomes a privilege to do things I normally despise, because I get to do those things with the people I love. Being with family makes Christmas amazing.

Of course, the food and presents don’t hurt.

Protected: Dear Abby

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A Pointless Public Service Announcement

Why, hello there!

I’m talking to you, yes you. Sitting right there. At your computer. Probably with your head resting on your left hand, and the mouse, resting beneath your right, training itself to stay positioned on that little ‘down’ arrow that lead you to your next moment of reading what I have to say. You are most likely procrastinating on something, unless you are retired (hello, Grandma!). I am perfectly okay with that. Procrastination is a beautiful tool, and one that I employ every day. In fact, I’m employing it right now. I am supposed to be double-checking my ski bag. But it’s only seven forty, so I’m fine! Right?

I totally forgot what I came here to say. So I guess I’ll just remind you- you won’t like it when your left hand falls asleep. Switch hands now, so that your right hand is supporting your head, and your left hand is controlling the mouse. That’s better.

Next Time

I’m trying really hard to keep the  tears from streaming down my face. I can handle it. It’s not my fault. Coach said I could re-test. She know’s that I’m better than that.

But today, my stomach hurt. It hurt only one hundred and fifty yards in. I wasn’t tired, no! I was just getting started. If my stomach hadn’t hurt, I would have already passed everyone, been a whole length ahead! I could have aced the test, as I knew I would. Or, at least I had thought.

But my stomach, this crucial part of me, decided to ache. I couldn’t tell whether I was hungry, had cramps, or was getting sick. It started hurting just right before warm up, and it didn’t stop like I thought it would when I got in the water. It wasn’t from nerves, or else I would have been able to continue. Nope. On the day I’d been waiting for since October had arrived, and I had crash-landed right in the middle of what was supposed to be my victory.

I know I can re-test this week. I can probably still move up a level, not be with kids much worse than I am. But it still hurts, now less in my stomach than in my heart. I feel like second best now. I want to cut my stomach from my anatomy, get rid of that unwanted body weight.

But I can’t cry. This is the daily obstacle. I am not going to show fear to something that will essentially only make me stronger. It can’t hurt me! I know I’ll make it. Next time.

Mushrooms

I have an incurable, pathological fear of mushrooms.

I do not know why. I do not know how. I do not know what, or where, or when. All I know is that they are absolutely, miserably terrifying.

THEY CAN FREAKING KILL YOU.

Some are poisonous. Some are partially poisonous. Some are not poisonous, but are big so if you don’t chew them enough they will clog your throat and suffocate you. Mushrooms are made of evil.

That’s what I’m talking about.